So you're engaged. Someone's going to point a camera at you for an hour. And you have no idea what to do with your hands.
Welcome to the engagement session. It's the part of wedding photography that makes everyone nervous and then afterwards they say "that was actually fun." Every single time.
Let me walk you through it.
Why Bother With an Engagement Session?
Besides the obvious (photos for your save-the-dates, your wedding website, and your mom's mantle), there's a bigger reason:
Practice.
Your wedding day is not the time to figure out how to be natural in front of a camera. The engagement session is your dress rehearsal. You learn how I work, I learn how you two interact, and by the time your wedding rolls around, we're not strangers anymore.
The couples who do engagement sessions are visibly more relaxed on their wedding day. That's not a theory — it's 300+ weddings of evidence.
Where to Do It in New Jersey
I have a full guide to outdoor photo locations in North Jersey, but here are the greatest hits for engagement sessions specifically:
Nature/Outdoors
- Frelinghuysen Arboretum (Morristown) — Formal gardens, beautiful in any season
- Waterloo Village (Stanhope) — Rustic stone buildings and river views
- Lake Mohawk (Sparta) — Tudor village and lake reflections at sunset
- Garrett Mountain (Woodland Park) — NYC skyline from a mountaintop
Urban/Downtown
- Hoboken waterfront — Manhattan skyline across the river
- Asbury Park boardwalk — Colorful murals, beach, arcade vibes
- Downtown Morristown — Brick sidewalks, cafés, string lights
- Lambertville — Artsy small-town charm along the Delaware River
Personal/Meaningful
- Where you had your first date — A restaurant, a park, a coffee shop
- Your apartment — Cozy, intimate, zero commute
- Your college campus — Nostalgic and personal
The best location is the one that means something to you. Scenic backdrops are nice, but photos in the place you fell in love hit different.
When to Schedule It
Time of Year
- Spring (April–May) — Cherry blossoms, fresh greenery, mild weather
- Fall (September–October) — Peak foliage, golden light, perfect temperatures
- Summer — Great but hot. You'll be sweating in 10 minutes.
- Winter — Moody, dramatic, and nobody else is at the park. Layer up.
Time of Day
- Golden hour (1 hour before sunset) — The best light, period. Warm, soft, flattering.
- Morning (8–9 AM) — Soft light, empty parks, perfect for introverts
- Midday — Avoid if possible. Harsh shadows, squinting, unflattering light.
How Far Before the Wedding
Book your engagement session 6–9 months before the wedding. This gives you time to:
- Get the photos back (1–2 weeks)
- Pick favorites for save-the-dates
- Order save-the-dates and mail them (usually 6 months before)
What to Wear
This is the question I get more than any other. Here's the honest answer.
The Rules
- Coordinate, don't match. Matching outfits look like a 90s family portrait. Instead, pick a color palette and each choose something within it.
- Solid colors photograph best. Avoid busy patterns, logos, thin stripes (they create a moiré effect on camera).
- Dress one notch above casual. You want to look like the best version of your everyday selves. Not prom. Not gym.
- Bring two outfits. One dressier, one casual. We'll change halfway through. It doubles the variety.
- Wear clothes you've tested. Now is not the time for brand-new shoes or a top you've never tried sitting down in.
Colors That Work
- Neutrals (cream, beige, gray, navy)
- Earth tones (rust, olive, burgundy, mustard)
- Soft pastels (blush, light blue, sage)
Colors to Avoid
- Neon anything
- All white (you'll glow like a lighthouse)
- All black (you'll disappear at dusk)
- Matching graphic tees (please)
Shoes
Comfortable ones. We're going to walk. If you want a heeled shot, bring them in a bag and switch for 5 minutes.
How to Not Be Awkward
This is the real question. And the honest answer is: you will feel awkward for the first 10 minutes. Everyone does. Professional models feel awkward for the first 10 minutes.
Here's what I do about it:
I Give You Things to Do
I never say "just stand there and look natural." That's the least natural instruction ever given. Instead:
- "Walk toward me and tell each other something funny that happened this week"
- "Whisper something in their ear that'll make them laugh"
- "Put your forehead against theirs and just breathe for a second"
You're doing something. The camera catches the moments between the doing.
We Start Easy
The first 15 minutes are warmup. Walk around. Talk. Get used to me and the camera. Nobody's favorite photos come from the first 10 frames.
I'll Make You Laugh
I'm not a comedian, but I've been told I'm funnier than most photographers. Low bar, I know. The point is: if you're laughing, you're not overthinking. And genuine laughter photographs better than any posed smile.
Forget the Camera Exists
The best engagement photos happen when couples stop performing and just interact with each other. After 15–20 minutes, most couples forget I'm there. That's when the magic happens.
Bring These Things
- Breath mints. You'll be face-to-face a lot. Trust me on this.
- A lint roller. Dark clothes attract everything.
- Touch-up makeup. Just the basics for a mid-session refresh.
- Water. Especially in summer.
- Your dog. I'm serious. Dogs make engagement photos 100x better. They create natural, joyful moments and they photograph beautifully. If your dog is part of your life, bring them. We'll get a few with and a few without.
What About Props?
Generally, skip them. The balloon letters that spell "LOVE" and the chalkboard that says "He asked, she said yes" — those were cute in 2015. In 2025, they feel forced.
Exceptions:
- A blanket and wine for a picnic setup? Sure. That's a vibe, not a prop.
- Your hobby or shared interest? Bring it. Kayaks, guitars, bikes, books — things you actually use together feel natural.
- Your pet? Always yes (see above).
What You'll Get
From a typical 60–90 minute engagement session with me:
- 50–80 fully edited images
- Private online gallery for viewing and downloading
- Full-resolution files for printing save-the-dates, making canvases, etc.
- Turnaround: 1–2 weeks
The Real Reason to Do This
Forget the save-the-dates for a second. Forget the wedding website.
An engagement session gives you something you'll treasure long after the wedding: a set of photos of the two of you, at this exact point in your relationship, looking at each other the way you do right now.
That's worth an hour of feeling slightly awkward.
Engagement sessions are included in my Signature and Xavier Classic packages, or available as a standalone session. Let's pick a spot.
