"I should warn you — we're really awkward in photos."
I hear this at almost every consultation. I'm not exaggerating. Probably 7 out of 10 couples say some version of this to me before their wedding. And every single time, I tell them the same thing:
Good. That means you're normal.
Here's a secret that the wedding photography industry doesn't talk about enough: most people don't like being photographed. Not in a "oh, I'm so humble" way. In a genuine, "my smile looks weird and I don't know what to do with my hands and please don't make me pose" way.
And you know what? That's completely fine. Because great wedding photos have almost nothing to do with how photogenic you think you are.
Why You Think You're Not Photogenic (And Why You're Wrong)
Here's what's actually happening when you see a photo of yourself and cringe: you're comparing a frozen millisecond of your face to the moving, talking, animated version of yourself you see in mirrors and video calls.
Of course it looks weird. A still photo captures a fraction of a second. Sometimes your eyes are half-closed. Sometimes your smile hasn't fully formed yet. Sometimes the angle is just... unfortunate.
That's not you being unphotogenic. That's photography being hard. And that's exactly why you hire a professional instead of relying on your friend with a nice camera.
A good wedding photographer knows how to:
- Find your best angles (everyone has them)
- Direct you in a way that feels natural, not forced
- Capture you in motion so photos look alive, not stiff
- Wait for the real smile, not the "say cheese" grimace
- Create an environment where you forget the camera exists
That last one is the big one.
What a Good Photographer Does Differently
I've shot over 300 weddings. I've worked with couples who were genuinely terrified of the camera. Couples who told me they've never had a good photo taken of them in their entire lives.
And their wedding photos? Beautiful. Every time.
Not because I'm some kind of wizard (although I appreciate the compliment). But because I've learned some things over 14 years that make all the difference.
We don't make you "pose"
Forget everything you think you know about posing. I'm not going to stand you in front of a backdrop and say "smile!" That's school picture day, not a wedding.
What I actually do is give you something to do. Walk toward me. Look at each other. Whisper something funny in their ear. Fix his boutonniere. Play with her veil. Dance, even though there's no music.
When you're doing something, you're not thinking about the camera. When you're not thinking about the camera, you look like yourself. And yourself is beautiful.
We talk. A lot.
The best wedding photographers are also pretty decent conversationalists. I'll ask about your honeymoon. I'll make a dumb joke. I'll tell you about the time a groomsman accidentally ripped his pants during portraits (it happens more than you'd think).
The point isn't to be entertaining. The point is to keep you in your head and out of "photo mode." The second you start thinking about your face, your body tenses up and your smile goes from genuine to forced.
If you want more tips on how to prepare for your photos, we have a whole guide on essential wedding photography tips that covers everything.
We shoot a LOT of frames
Here's something most couples don't realize: for every amazing photo you see in a wedding gallery, there are probably 5-10 that didn't make the cut. Not because they're bad — but because in that one frame, you blinked, or the wind caught your hair weird, or you were mid-sentence.
A good photographer takes enough frames to guarantee great ones. So stop worrying about individual moments. We've got it covered.
Practical Tips That Actually Help
Okay, beyond hiring the right photographer (which, if you need help with that, read our guide to choosing a wedding photographer in NJ), here are concrete things you can do:
1. Do an engagement session
This is the single best thing camera-shy couples can do. An engagement session is basically a practice run. You get comfortable with your photographer, learn what to expect, and realize it's actually... kind of fun?
I've had couples come into their engagement session visibly nervous and leave saying "wait, that's it? That was great." By the time the wedding comes around, they already know me, they know what I'm going to ask them to do, and the camera feels way less intimidating.
Check out our full engagement session guide if you want to know what to expect.
2. Skip the mirror
On your wedding day, when we're doing portraits, don't ask to see every photo on the back of the camera. I know it's tempting. But looking at a tiny 3-inch screen and trying to judge a photo is a recipe for anxiety.
Trust the process. You'll see the full gallery later, on a real screen, properly edited. I promise it's going to look different (better) than what you'd see on the back of a camera in direct sunlight.
3. Focus on each other, not the camera
The best wedding portraits I've ever taken are ones where the couple isn't looking at me at all. They're looking at each other. Laughing about something. Having a quiet moment.
If you're feeling awkward during portraits, just look at your partner. Forget I'm there. Tell them something — anything. The funniest thing that happened during getting ready. How ridiculous your uncle's tie is. What you're most excited to eat at dinner.
When you're connected to each other, the camera disappears.
4. Move around
Static poses are the enemy of natural photos. If I say "stand here and smile," it's going to look exactly like I told you to stand there and smile.
But if I say "walk toward me, slowly, and look at each other" — now you're in motion, your body language is natural, your clothes are flowing, and the photo has energy.
If you feel stiff, walk. Sway. Dance. Spin. Movement is your friend.
5. Give yourself permission to feel weird
This is the big mindset shift. You're going to feel a little silly at some point during your portraits. You're going to wonder if you look dumb. You're going to feel self-conscious about the people walking by in the park watching you get photographed.
That's okay. Lean into it. The couples who say "this is weird but let's just go for it" always — ALWAYS — end up with better photos than the ones who stay in their comfort zone.
What About the Ceremony and Reception?
Here's the good news: 90% of your wedding photos are candid. Your ceremony, your first dance, your father-daughter dance, speeches, dancing — I'm capturing all of that without you doing anything at all.
The only time you really need to "be photographed" is during formal family portraits (15-20 minutes) and couple portraits (usually 20-30 minutes). That's it. Less than an hour total out of an 8-10 hour day.
The rest of the time, just live your life and let me do my job. You won't even notice I'm there. (That's actually the goal.)
The Real Talk
Here's what I wish every camera-shy couple knew:
Your wedding photos are not about how you look. They're about how you felt. They're about the way your partner looked at you during your first look. The way your dad tried not to cry during the ceremony. The way your friends went absolutely insane on the dance floor.
Twenty years from now, you're not going to look at your wedding photos and think about whether your smile was perfect. You're going to look at them and remember the feeling. The love. The chaos. The joy.
And I promise you — that stuff? It photographs beautifully. Every single time. No matter how "awkward" you think you are.
So stop worrying. Hire someone you trust (maybe check for red flags first). Do your engagement session. Take a breath.
You're going to look amazing. Not because you're photogenic. Because you're in love. And that's the most photogenic thing there is.
(Yeah, I know that was cheesy. But it's also true. I've got 300+ weddings worth of proof.)
